Casual hookups ... with herpes?

0:00It's not about being worried about these things or like you know making it a serious conversation but it's about being realistic in the world we live in now it is hi I'm adriel creator of the herpes opportunity which is all about positively shifting your mindset disclosing to potential partners in a way that truly connects you and ultimately finding the love that you want and deserve now you can check out the free ebook linked in the description below about having the talk and now onto the video I hope you enjoy it even in a casual relationship there's there are going to be feelings involved we can't get around that right so when there are feelings involved and it even sounds like a little too much to be like your heart is involved because it's not like you're falling in love but there are going to be feelings especially when there's sexuality involved I mean we just can't separate those things out as much as we might try you know sometimes it can still be a casual conversation about something hey we're about to do something important not saying that you would say that but this ...

1:16... that's this is the the groundwater this is the subtext hey we're about to do something that's like you know pretty important we just don't go around having sex with anyone I trust you enough to have sex with you right like I I want I want to like appreciate you as a human being doesn't mean I'm falling in love with you but I I like you enough to have sex with you so let's do like let's at least say that there's a foundational thing of like I want to be able to trust the people that I have sex with period right so in that in that realm you know and and let me put my first foot forward and say you know I in in that in the the the spirit of of trust and and openness like even though this is a casual thing and who knows how long this is gonna last like let's let's get on the same page so we can trust each other um you know let's talk about our our sexual histories you know like I when was the last time you got tested last time I got tested I saw that I have herpes you know like it can be a casual conversation it doesn't need to be this I'm falling in love with you it's just the safer sex conversation that nobody has unless they have to unfortunately ...

2:33... you know but let's think about it this way isn't that a red flag too like anyone who wouldn't be having a conversation of like hey we're about to have sex let's at least talk uh like have a meta conversation before we do especially if we're grown ass adults and we know the lay of the land we know what's what's out there like let's have a mature conversation without that he's doing that with other women where he's just like hey I'm going whole hog here I'm not having a conversation it's not about being worried about these things or like you know making it a serious conversation but it's about being realistic in the world we live in now it is right like I want to be safe I want you to be safe I already have herpes I want to see what you have and then then when we have everything on the table then as grown adults we can say all right there here's the cost benefit analysis not that you're going to get into your brain about it and pull out a spreadsheet but you're going to make that determination not just in this fantasy land of like okay let's not talk about anything serious let's just have sex as if there are no ramifications it's not mutually exclusive that's the thing I feel I I hear this a lot by the way from people who are like I just want to have something casual so it's it's like you're looking at the disclosure talk as something opposite uh from casual when there's a whole lot more overlap than you're giving it credit for ...

3:57... right you're saying that like the disclosure talk equals something serious and deep love and uh you have to be committed to them for the rest of your life and marriage and blah blah blah it's just like you'll you'll you'll get to the aha moment where you're like oh the fact that I have herpes is actually making it so that I will never put the cart before the horse of having sex before I actually emotionally trust someone you you could fall on the side of like taking it personally if he takes it the wrong way and been like uh look you know I'm gonna say it really extreme in this way oh I'm a diseased person no one is ever gonna love me you know if you really go to that extreme like oh he rejected me but once you get to the point where you're like really accepting yourself and accepting kind of just okay everyone's got their stuff my stuff happens to be herpes and whatever other baggage I have everyone has baggage we're all on the same page then a quote unquote rejection is actually just like oh okay that that is showing me that this isn't a good this isn't a good fit but everyone has like stuff everyone has their their skeletons in their closet and and what they're ashamed of or whatever maybe this guy you know he's ashamed of ...

5:20... his little his little beer gut or he's ashamed of his credit card debt or he's ashamed that he got divorced or he's ashamed right there are all these things that but but herpes is is in a category all unto itself no we we're we're adults we all have our stuff and and so so when you can claim that when you can own it and be like yeah this is all my stuff and and what I mean by claim it is it's not this thing to be like hidden because if anyone finds out about it I'm going to be less than it's like wholeness is about yeah here I am you know here I am warts and all or herpes and all you know well I hope you got a lot out of that video and if you did please let me know please like comment and subscribe and keep an eye out for more videos just like this you