"Disclosing is opening the door for both of you to be open with each other, and a lot of people don't actually have the safer sex conversation."
Oddly, we still live in a puritanical culture that says sex is naughty. So the question becomes, "What is the change I can be to help buck the stigma?" Yes, we live in this society with a double standard — there's a huge stigma about herpes, but it's just not a big (medical) deal to so many people. So part of the disclosure process is coming to the reality that STDs are super common. And since there is a double standard, the way we break it is to speak to it and be open about it. Shamelessness is the antidote.