Herpes and self acceptance

Read transcript (697 words)+
Click any timestamp to jump to that part of the video

So I was talking with one of our Forum members last night on the phone and she was talking about the whole concept of self-love like I don't really know what it means you know it's so cliche these days love yourself love yourself yeah whatever I mean I I'm pretty sure I love myself how do I how do I know what does that mean like how does it actually come into to being like how do I practice it and I realize that how I practice self-love these days and trust me it's a practice I don't I don't have this mastered um in the slightest but I mean it it's a practice for a reason because it's worth it and it it feels good and what that practice is is accepting myself in every moment or practicing accepting myself in every moment because I've I heard this um this quote that love is attention without judgment and ...

... that has stuck with me ever since I first heard it because it's so perfect to describe what love is it's me just being and having attention on something myself another person a tree and not judging it the absence of judgment seems to be love so that shows up in many different ways like in day-to-day life you know if I if I say something that I'm embarrassed about you know I that I think is stupid to be like oh okay I just I just said that thing instead of God you're such an idiot you can see how that shows up a lot I mean I catch myself all the time in the how how I how I treat myself how I relate to myself and whenever there can be an absence of judgment and at least un absence of judgment and then hopefully acceptance then that's almost like okay corn corny alert ready um it's almost ...

... like a flower and sunshine and that the flower is blossoming in the sunshine that the attention without judgment and the love especially selflove helps for me to Blossom and then when I show others that love it helps them to Blossom and it's a beautiful cycle in that way but self-love is ultimately self-acceptance and that goes that goes to herpes too of course I mean this is a herpes blog so accepting myself with herpes comes first before anyone else is going to be able to accept me really even if I'm completely not okay with myself and someone does accept me the unaccepted Bess in myself is is going to come out in the relationship and and the shame is going to come up it's going to come up as disconnection and not really being able to be intimate with my partner and there are all sorts of layers of self-acceptance that I can bring to myself ...

... especially with herpes because there happens to be such a stigma about it and and so much potential self shame so when someone rejects me they're not really rejecting me they're rejecting herpes they're rejecting the stigma around herpes maybe they're rejecting me too maybe it's not all about the herpes right but the point is is that when I or the herpes is rejected by somebody where does self-acceptance come in there am I still able to accept myself in everything I am every everything that I know myself to be and not have that person's opinion affect my opinion of myself unless it serves me maybe someone else's opinion actually does help me to grow helps me to see a side of myself that I hadn't seen before but if someone else is reacting to the stigma of herpes and the shame of herpes than to recognize that and maybe even have compassion for them for not knowing ...

... any better you know for not knowing that herpes really isn't a big deal that it's just an annoying skin condition a skin rash and to accept my myself in the face of that even even rejection to still accept myself and love myself and know who I am