Overcoming Herpes Shame & Stigma

H broke my heart but opened my mind, grateful

A real conversation from the Herpes Opportunity community. For over 13 years, the H Opp forums were a safe space where thousands of people shared their most vulnerable moments. The forums have since sunset, but these stories live on. More in Overcoming Herpes Shame & Stigma
unbreakableCommunity Member

Let my complain a little before I share the good change that I got from this whole issue. 

I was never a very sexually active person, I was modest and kind and emotionally sensitive, and picky about who I’m with, oh and also very young when I caught it. I, however, think sexual pleasure and physical health are important in overall mood and wellbeing. I never neglect my body. So getting ill took a toll on me and seemed unfair. 

But it helped me exercise my courage to talk and think openly about “all the good things and the bad things” in sex. (Recognize the song? lol) I was never proudish, but always looked at the emotional side of sex instead of the actual facts. I wasn’t embarrased to talk to my bestfriend about how I cried from happiness once after making love with my boyfriend. But I hardly ever talked about how my lady parts were doing. I would feel awkward about it. But after my attention had to be directed to them, and I had to describe all of the unpleasant symptoms, I found my way to openly wording sensations. I can now more accurately sense and describe pleasurable things too. Maybe one day I’ll be a pro at dirty talk, who knows? ;) To me realizing it’s okay to talk about p*ssies when it’s appropriate was revolutionary... I’ve heard guys talk about what they got more often, and I realized girls can do it too. I won’t just yell “Eat me out!” (like the female equivalent of “Suck my...”) when I’m mad at someone, duh, but I feel no unnecessary shame in sharing pleasure or getting help anymore. LOL

I just have to battle the virus so it doesn’t get in the way of my pleasure. No one wants to be touched when sore so yeah... I’m trying my best.

BrynbyCommunity Member

I have been dating someone for a month now, she have disclosed to me that she do have H2, i have accepted it. But, unfortunately because she wants to protect me from it, she has chosen to not move unto a relationship with me (or anyone else) if or when the times comes. I have known her for 10 years, from my friendship with her sister and brother in law.  We also have dated and been together 5 years ago, so i have developed very strong feelings for this girl. She is a very sexual person and i have developed that way while with her as well. She's determined that this will ruin my life and i will regret it. But, like i said i do accept it with what it is. I would like to convince her that it is okay if that situation happened. I do not have H. I do not want to force her on a decision, she do not want. With her not wanting me to get it shows she cares for me very much. We will stay friends as i want her to stay in my life, i was looking forward it being a life with me. 

Thanks for anyone that replies, even though i dont have H, i was unsure if that was the proper place to post this story. Any advice is appreciated.

More conversations in Overcoming Herpes Shame & Stigma:

More community stories: