Men's Corner: Living with HSV-1

Mid 30’s male here.

Contracted Genital HSV1 

symptoms started late December 

diagnosed mid January 

Never had an exposure to any hsv till now. I know this because I was experiencing painful urination as my first symptom, went to the doc and was tested for all Sti including H and the results came back negative for everything. I believe the H test was igg and reason it was negative is because I hadn't built up the antibodies yet. Doctor disregarded H at the time after that test came back negative till I experienced more symptoms such as skin irritation or sores on the penis, sore back and legs and the painful uriniation was excruciating so I called the doc and he told me to come in. He performs a swab test of the urethra (not sure what test this is called? Culture test?) comes back positive for hsv1 and negative for hsv2. This indicates a new exposure. He acts like no big deal on the phone with the results. Maybe to protect my sanity and I’m starting to see this is the norm for doctors to do with hsv. They almost don’t even want u to know. He says well the results came back and I’m like ok? He’s like it’s a cold sore! I’m thinking yeah on my private’s. He prescribed me 10 days of generic Valtrex. I go back for a follow up and he can feel my anxiety and ask what’s wrong and I tell him I’m having a hard time coping with this. He tells me to stop reading about it. I’m thinking yeah easier said than done plus I should now educate myself because I got this in the first place by not being educated. It’s made me feel so dumb that I catch myself in the car calling myself a dumb mother f’er. I’m so disappointed in myself to say the least and have had all the thoughts most people have when being diagnosed with this. I got this is a result of oral sex from a female. We were having sex for about 2 or 3 months and she was the only partner in over a year. We talked about std’s because I initiated it and She said she’d take sti test to make me feel better so she tells me everything came back negative and I hadn’t even thought or knew hsv was not on the menu of standard sti testing so it slipped my mind. If I knew I’d obviously ask if she ever had cold sores. One day I go to pick her up and she has a huge blister on her lip and I’m like is that herpes? She’s like no it’s a fever blister. I’ve had them since I was a kid. I just had received oral sex from her that whole week. She’s going to school to become a medical assistant and that makes it even harder for me to know she did not know and kind of pisses me off that she wasn’t aware of her condition or body. She goes to class the next day and tells her teacher that someone told her this fever blister is herpes and her teacher tells her to tell whoever that person is that their a dumbass. Lack of education all around I guess. 

Anyways I’ve really been struggling with this in my head. It’s literally  taken over my life. I’ve lost about 8 ponds due to no appetite. Can’t sleep and when I fall asleep I have trouble waking up. Been late to work several times. Coworkers are telling me mind is somewhere else. Customers asking me what’s wrong. Family knows something is wrong because I’ve isolated myself from the world. This has caused a major depression and don’t know what the future holds. I wish they would discover a cure for people’s sanity. Also I’ve read people’s post that says this is just a skin condition but how can you say when this can kill a newborn if we were to try to get with a women that was negative? Guess thats because a negative women would go for us and risk catching genital or oral. I’m aware of c section if primary exposure happens during pregnancy but again if I had to explain all this to a negative women how the hell can I convince her to gonfor me. I feel like my manhood has been taken away from me. I don’t even feel like a person anymore. More like a walking herpetic zombie. I’m sorry everyone for being negative. This might be against forum rules, I’m not sure. I am here to vent and get advice. I appreciate everyone here and glad I found this site but I pray to God this nasty virus can be eradicated someday soon for the sake of us that can’t see ourselves moving on. 

I do still want to hear from men who have had ghsv1 for a while and what to expect? How many outbreaks can I expect? I know it varies from person to person and have read that it decreases after first year. I also read an article with a doctor claiming that with ghsv1 “it’s a one shot deal” but I don’t seam to believe that. I’ve read many articles on transmission rates and recurrences but want to hear from real life people also that are going through it. I’m also afraid that I caught this orally simotanously. I haven’t developed a cold sore on any corner of my lip anywhere but I can feel it in the middle of my lip if that makes sense. I’m just lost in life right now. I just was coming out of a 4 year depression and this knocked me on my ass. Also reason I’m asking to hear from men because it seams like women are suffering with multiple outbreaks a year with genital 1 and obviously they have a different part so I haven’t found many guys posting about their ghsv1 with my countless hours of searching. 

Also my primary outbreak is still going, no lie. It’s been about a month and a half of hell. I still feel a tingling itchy feeling in my urethra (pee hole) and a had a secondary scab or blister. Maybe this was a secondary OB? Not sure but the first OB never healed all the way. I’ve been itching like crazy and I was already suffering from an autoimmune disease called Lichen Planus and this has woken that SOB up like no other. My whole body had been itching. Lichen Planus is when your immune system attacks your skin basically by mistake and causes erosive lesions. This life has been hell to say the least. 

I know his post is too long and all over the place but can you guys also tell me if your on some kind of diet? Have u been with a negative partner and avoided infecting her? I wanted to settle down soon and have kids but not sure how that’s looking for me? 

By the way I am a smoker. Work in a very stressful environment. I’m in fair shape for not going to the gym in a while. I plan to go back. I just started taking olive leaf extract pills and oregano oil. I’ve read about oregano oil being able to destroy the virus and supposedly cure it but that’s probably fantasy land and I don’t want to be the one to misinform any one or get their hopes up because I’ve got my hopes up from reading and I guess I still have my hopes up in some way. Lol idk. I even watched James destroys diseases but I would never be able to follow his all fruit diet and protocol unless I knew it was 100 cure. Also nobody ever comments back to being “cured” in his videos but some people have made claims of retesting negative. Somewhat interesting I guess. Like I’ve said this had consumed my life. Even had a dream or nightmare I should say that I broke out all over my lips. I just really wish there was a cure. I would do anything to take my life back. 

Well I know I am no guy and I also have Ghsv1. I got mine from ex partner that decided to not tell me that they had the virus. Anyways I really struggled with the virus for a few months. I also was told by my doctor it’s just cold sores and most of the population has Hsv1. However, I was on antivirals but they aren’t good the side effects long term are bad from what I have experienced. I became infected in July 2018.. I’m finally feeling better, emotionally it will always feel this burden that u have to carry. I know haven’t had an outbreak for a few months. Both my dermatologist and Obgyn said after about 6 months it calms down once your immune system can fight it. I also was told it may never come back because Hsv1 doesn’t like to be in the gential area. I take lysine and olive leaf and folic acid and few other supplements to help my immune system. I personally haven’t had to disclose to anyone as of yet only my close friends and family, everyone has been very supportive and that has been a blessing since I beat myself up for trusting someone that I thought cared and loved me and had my best interest. All I can say is yes this sucks and I wished that I could change it because it changed my entire life! However it does it better and sometimes u get to forget for a moment u have it! Keep in mind that 80% of the population has Hsv1 so more ppl have then don’t. A lot ppl have no idea they are carrying the virus because they didn’t get the effects as we did. Hope it gets better for u and know that there is a lot of support here for you! 

Thanks for the reply and support. How did he pass it to you if you don’t mind me asking? This anxiety is far too real. My anxiety level has reached the sky. Doc said he will have to put me on antidepressants but I refuse 

Let me tell you this! Women are more likely to get the std then men! It’s due to the way we were built. Condoms are necessary unless your partner doesn’t care! There is also medicine to help with shedding! 

I used a condom with a guy but we did a little rubbing before hand and bam I got it! 

Good news though people with HSV1 don’t have as many outbreaks as HSV 2. I have one as well. I’ve only had my initial and I haven’t had anymore.

being healthy and doing stuff to lower your stress will help you avoid having outbreaks! 

Go back to your doctor! I have lychansclerosis and chronic yeast infections so it’s hard to separate, but definitely keep going back to your doctor! Or if you aren’t comfortable or if they seem stupid please find another one! If you are taking the pills to get rid of it it should be gone! Your outbreak should have been over and the virus put at bay!

Let me know if you have more question!

Did he have any sores when the rubbing occurred or do u think u got it while he was asymptomaticlly shedding? 

And damn that means you got it as genital to genital when I’ve read that genital to genital is rare but maybe not?