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Herpes in Long-Term Relationships

One of the biggest fears after a herpes diagnosis is "Will I ever have a real relationship again?" The answer, if you scroll through these conversations from the now-sunset Herpes Opportunity forums, is so obviously yes that it almost feels silly to ask. But I remember asking it myself, so I get it.

What you'll find here are stories from people in the thick of it: couples where one has herpes and the other doesn't, people who found love after diagnosis and went on to get married, partners who chose to show up even when society said they shouldn't. Some of these threads have been read nearly 30,000 times because they answer the question everyone's afraid to ask out loud.

If you're wondering whether a real, lasting, loving relationship is possible with herpes, read these. Then read them again. Because the answer isn't just "yes." It's "yes, and it might be even better than what you had before."

Real conversations from the Herpes Opportunity community. For over 13 years, the H Opp forums were a safe space where thousands of people shared their most vulnerable moments. The forums have since sunset, but these stories live on.

Who here has gotten married or found love after herpes?

With nearly 29,000 views, this thread asks the big question: who's found love after herpes? The responses pour in with stories of marriages, babies, and deep partnerships that happened because of the vulnerability herpes demanded.

29 posts in conversation

bewildered-wife diagnosed after 30 yr monogamous marriage

Diagnosed after 30 years of monogamous marriage, she's bewildered and searching for answers. The community helps her untangle the medical facts from the emotional storm.

23 posts in conversation

In need of examples/stories/situations from those in relationships (one is H other is not)

She needs to hear from couples where one partner has herpes and the other doesn't. The community delivers real, detailed stories of how they make it work.

19 posts in conversation

How many people have been successful with dating those that don't have H?

Are successful mixed-status relationships actually common? This thread proves they are, with story after story from people who found partners who chose love over fear.

28 posts in conversation

Feel trapped in my relationship because of herpes

Feeling trapped in a relationship because of herpes is more common than you'd think. This thread explores why it happens and how to reclaim your agency.

8 posts in conversation

Woman I'm Dating Told Me She Has Genital Herpes Type 2

Written from the herpes-free partner's perspective: the woman he's dating told him she has HSV-2, and he's here to figure out the facts. The community's response is a blueprint for navigating this conversation from either side.

13 posts in conversation

I have herpes. So why would a man choose me?

'Why would a man choose me?' She asks. The men in the community answer, and what they say will change how you think about what men actually care about.

15 posts in conversation

Frequently asked questions

Can you have a successful long-term relationship with herpes?+
Absolutely. Thousands of people with herpes are in happy, long-term relationships, including marriages. Many couples where one partner has herpes and the other doesn't successfully manage the risk together. Our community is full of stories from people who found deeper, more honest relationships because herpes taught them the value of vulnerability.
Should I tell my long-term partner I have herpes?+
Yes. Honesty is the foundation of a healthy relationship, and most partners respond with understanding and compassion when the conversation comes from a place of care and trust. Many community members report that disclosing to a long-term partner actually strengthened their relationship by deepening the level of vulnerability and trust.

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