"You are way more in control about the perspective you choose to take than you may think."
In the worst case scenario, we may transmit herpes to a partner, and often we see that situation through the same lens as how we got herpes (often it wasn't in a very trusting relationship). Due to the trauma and mistrust we may have experienced, it may be hard to see how the experience would be different if herpes is transmitted in the container of a loving, trusting, supportive relationship. Then it's not tied to all the negativity and baggage. And if your partner knows the risk up front (because you disclosed, of course), they are choosing to take the risk and you have to trust that they've assessed that risk. You are way more in control about the perspective you choose to take. You may be approaching a new relationship with fear, but it's your responsibility to notice when you've fallen into that rut; and it's only through repetition and positive practice that you get good at choosing your perspective ... and you keep choosing that perspective until you make it a new habit. The situations where the fear gets triggered (especially the times when we want to run away or shut down) are the biggest opportunities to recognize you're in a trigger, and those become the biggest opportunities to relax out of old patterns, not give them fuel, and choose a new, empowering path.