Paranoid of giving your partner herpes? How to deal.

0:00You're doing everything you can to keep your partner safe and there's still always going to be a small percentage of risk right hi I'm adriel creator of the herpes opportunity which is all about positively shifting your mindset disclosing to potential partners in a way that truly connects you and ultimately finding the love that you want and deserve now you can check out the free ebook linked in the description below about having the talk and now onto the video I hope you enjoy it what unfortunately by default like the default frame that people come from is is fear and that that fear kind of goes into paranoia like oh no like we can't actually we can't do anything without there being a risk and therefore you know what if I pass it on to him and then it's going to ruin his life and you know just like spirals out of control like this freight train of worst case scenarios the interesting thing that happens in that is that you get in your head around something that is inherently a body thing which is intimacy right intimacy yeah there's some intimacy that happens in your ...

1:21... head and your thoughts but mostly it's it's in your body it's in your heart it's it's it's feeling connected to your vulnerability and when you're paranoid you don't feel vulnerable you shut down you're in your head in in the most intimate of moments when kind of we're supposed to be open we're in our heads we're shut down we don't feel vulnerable we don't feel intimate right so the the the flipping the switch to that is from going from from being paranoid and worrying about worst case scenario to being careful which when you break it down it's being full of care when you're being careful with your partner okay when you get into your care that shifts you from being worried in your head into moving into your heart you care about this person you're growing to love this person you want them to be as safe as they can possibly be right and you're doing everything that you can to keep them as safe as possible within that that balance of you know the the the inherent risk that's always going to be there right and by the way it's not always just like we ...

2:43... we focus in on you know the the inherent risk of of herpes but think about it like there's an inherent risk of getting pregnant every time you have sex right and that's a life-changing experience too right but like we can kind of set that aside and be like well yeah but that's different it's like well come on like let's actually call a spade a spade there is a there's a risk involved and there are a lot of sexually transmitted things including pregnancy right that we don't put you know give proper perspective to if you really zoom out and look at the overall risk that all of us as human beings are taking just like being alive and getting into a car and you know just surviving every day there are so many risks that we are taking that we are not even considering you're doing everything you can to keep your partner safe and there's still always going to be a a small percentage of risk right so you you that's the way that you switch from paranoia into being feeling care and moving into your heart like I care about this person I the ...

3:59... the the reason why you are are taking the precautions that you're taking isn't because of paranoia and fear and I don't want to ruin this person's life it's like oh I care about you I want to make sure that you're safe you know shame around herpes can be such a self-fulfilling prophecy sometimes right if you would have let that thought of oh my gosh he's gonna reject me if I disclose and I'm just gonna I'm just gonna keep putting this off indefinitely that would have led to you guys breaking up it would have and you probably if you didn't if you wouldn't have done as much work as you have done you probably would blame that on having herpes when it's not because of that it's because you had this belief that it's going to get you rejected so therefore you rejected yourself before he had the chance to either reject you or accept you you owe it to yourself and to him to use this as a like use intimacy with him as like a springboard into releasing your own shame and paranoia for two a lot of people think and you might have thought this too that disclosure is yay if I win at disclosure then like they're like the worry monster is just gonna leave me right I'm not gonna have to worry about anything anymore but it just takes on a ...

5:26... new identity right like kind of like the whole white picket fences thing well once I get married then everything's gonna be great you know it's like oh wait this is a new journey has just begun right but it's just a deeper cut right so you've you passed the first stage of disclosure oh now you're into the stage of deeper intimacy and that that shame monster is going to come up in its own way to kind of be defeated in a new way I hope you got a lot out of that video and if you did please let me know please like comment and subscribe and keep an eye out for more videos just like this you