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You have a new level of appreciation for you, because you're back.
Hi, I'm Adrial, creator of the Herpes Opportunity.
It's like if you were to have just gotten herpes and then you're like, use the whole "Well, it's not going to have any power over me" as a form of denial and repression of what you're feeling, then that level of "I'm not going to let it have power over me" is just a deflection.
... But then you could go the opposite direction and just be like, "Oh my gosh, I'm feeling so much, and I'm just gonna keep focusing on all these bad feelings." And then five years down the road, you're still feeling that way because you just haven't taken your eye off of this thing called herpes, right?
... So it's that balancing act between those two extremes, right? Where you're just paying attention to yourself. And like maybe you wake up sad one day. "Oh, there you are," you know? And you tend to that, but you don't use that as a reason to shovel onto yourself and just lie in a pool of it. You're holding yourself in that in-between place of just like, "I'm living my life and I'm not gonna focus on the extremes. If it comes up, it comes up, and I will deal with it. Whether it be an actual outbreak, I will physically deal with it. Whether it's emotions that come up, I will work through those without repressing them, but without giving it too much of an exalted storyline."
... Right, it's both of those things. And it sounds like that's where you're finding that middle ground for yourself of like, "I'm not going to deny it, but I'm also not going to totally focus on it." You don't always have a hundred percent choice around "I'm going to feel happy" or "I'm going to feel sad." But whatever portion of our experience is up to us based on our perspective, that's what you're choosing. You're saying, "I am happy. I am choosing to see my life as the abundance that it is."
... And that's what gratitude really helps to underline. You know, I've been writing a gratitude journal for years now, every single day. I think I've missed like three days in the last five years. Right, where you're training your mind to say, "You know what? I am happy. That is the identity that I'm creating for myself. I'm a happy person. I'm not focusing on the negatives. It doesn't mean I'm denying them, but I'm saying in whatever it is that I'm experiencing in my life, I'm choosing to focus on the positive and the growth that's here for me."
... Well, it's that identity shift, right? The denial comes about because you're like, "No, no, I had an identity of a person who was clean, a person who didn't have herpes." So the denial shows up of just being like, "No, no, I'm rejecting reality that I am actually now a person with herpes." So once you actually see it for what it is and recognize it, then that's the shift into your new identity. Not as someone with herpes, but someone who's like, "Yeah, okay, I'm a whole human being. Things are going to come at me and I'm gonna go through them. That's what life is." And then that's where you become more empowered.
... The thing you said before, of when we first started meeting, you didn't really feel like... you felt like yourself was lost, like who you knew yourself as. And that was scary because you're like, "Is she ever gonna come back?" And then when she does come back, now, as I look upon thee, she comes back stronger.
... It's like before, you kind of maybe took it for granted that that was you. Again, we're coming back to that theme of you don't know what you've got until it's gone, kind of a thing, right? And it's like, "Oh, just my personality, who I know myself as, the light-heartedness, the way that I love my family and friends" and all those things that are me. And "Oh my gosh, what if they don't come back?" When they do, it's like you have a new level of appreciation for you, because you're back.
... Well, I hope you got a lot out of that video. And if you did, please let me know. Please like, comment, and subscribe, and keep an eye out for more videos just like this.
"When she does come back, she comes back stronger ... You have a new level of appreciation for you, because you're back."
One of the scariest parts of a herpes diagnosis isn't the virus. It's the feeling that you've lost yourself. That lighthearted, loving person you knew yourself to be just ... vanished. And you're left wondering: "Is she ever going to come back?"
This coaching session is about the space between two extremes. On one side, there's denial: "This isn't going to have power over me" (but it's really just pushing it down). On the other, there's spiraling: focusing on the bad feelings so hard that five years later you're still stuck. The sweet spot is somewhere in the middle. Tending to what comes up without giving it an exalted storyline. Living your life while letting yourself feel. And when you do come back to yourself (and you will), you come back with a gratitude you never had before. Because now you know what it's like to almost lose you.
