I have had herpies for 30 plus years. I am female. I know when I got it....it was during sex and the condom came off. He never told me he had it. After I was diagnosed, I confronted him and he admitted that he was having an outbreak at the time the condom came off. Fast forward......I have been married for 21 years and have not passed this on. I have HV2. We always use condoms during sex, but have oral sex more than any other type of sex and he does not have it. I just wanted to share this and prior to my marriage, I had a relationship I. Which we also used condoms and never passed it to him either. When I started dating my present husband and told him I had herpies.....he said I'm going to be the last person you ever have to tell. What a man!
I would like to see other positive stories such as mine. I hope I've given hope to those who need it.
That was very sweet of him to say that. Your heart must have melted. I hope there comes a day someone says that to me. Thank you for posting.
No doubt, it will happen. I am very lucky.....I've only had to tell two people snd they both were om with it. I remember the first outbreak I had after dating my now husband......he said, can't we just cover it with a bandaid? Lol. I just recommend using a condom Everytime you have sex.....it has,worked just fine for us. I think the longer you have Herpies, the less often you shed.
I've had it 29 years. There are plenty of stories in Herpes talk success stories if you haven't seen them already. Good to see you've had positive disclosure experiences.
Hi again...I guess I meant more stories of long time HV2 carries who have had success in not passing it on is what I'd like to see more of. You've had it almost an long as I have.....do you have HV2 and have you passed it to anyone that you know of. Do you have a success story on those lines? Realky interested in seeing those types of stories.
Yes, I ave HSV 2. Never passed it on that I know of. Since I was diagnosed I've only had 2 partners. The first had Oral HSV 1. Haven't talked to her in well over twenty years, so if I passed it on shes never told me. Except for 1 time I always wore a condom when we had sex. The second, my wife, also has HSV 2 so passing it on has never been a concern.
Ok...thanks for sharing. It's always nice for people to see that you can keep from spreading it if you are careful and use the proper precautions
I am also interested in knowing if the virus sheds less the longer you have it. Would you happen to know. Thanks
The shedding rate overtime is something I'm not very sure about. The outbreaks have definitely become fewer and farther between. I had one last July and can not remember the last time before that.
Do you use antivirals? They help reduce shedding.
Just started 3 weeks ago on valtrex. I imagine it takes effect guickly?? Thanks for responding!!!
I'm thinking shedding for me is pretty few and far between since my husband has never gotten this
Are you on anti viral??
I've not taken an antiviral in about 20 years. If I were ever to be in a relationship with an H negative person in the future I would start taking one.
Another interesting twist. My husband has stage 4 kidney cancer and is doing pretty darn well. He is on pill form chemo forever. Even at this point when hulls immune system is quite compromised, he still has not gotten herpies from me. So I hope this helps tons of people to know that safe sex can do wonders in preventing spread
thanks for sharing your H testimony. This is definitely encouraging.
Here is a link for you in reference to shedding that might help
http://m.jid.oxfordjournals.org/content/203/2/180.full
I have been living with hsv2 for almost 30 years, but first and only breakout that I'm aware of was not diagnosed as h, but upon showing my old chart to 3 Drs they all agree it was h.....hsv1, I have no idea how long I've had it.
So have I passed it on all these years unknowing? Via shedding, or very mild outbreaks that I was unaware of? I don't know, and I'll never know.
I will never deal with the h disclosure issue, or antivirals, because I don't plan anytime in the new future of going near anyone h negative.
Thanks for the shedding article. I've read so many. We will just keep doing what we do. We have oral sex more than any other type of sex.....and eit her oral or intercorse once per week).......so there is another positive that it is very rare to pass on oraly (HV2 I mean)
Gosh, I wish there was a way to edit here..I meant we have oral sex most of the time (at least once per week) so that shows its very, very rare to pass on that way
You can edit - scroll over the upper right side of the comment and you should see a settings type button that has a drop down with the edit feature.
I tell people Herpes can hep you to have an excuse to learn other ways of playing other than straight up sex... we had a gret discussion on here about that awhile back :)
http://herpeslife.com/keeping-your-partner-herpes-free-can-be-super-sexy/
Thanks
Hi Katidid,
It was nice to hear a beautiful story. Your husband is awesome. I wish I will that moment like you did. I told a guy I was dating 2 weeks ago and he was freaked out.
@katidid, I've had it since 99, but cant share any positive non-transmission stories because I've only been with my husband. (Definitely HSV1 positive, no idea if he has HSV2).
I completely understand using condoms at this point in your life because he has cancer. But before, didn't you ever have the urge to go condomless? Didn't he? I can't wrap my mind around a relationship that has lasted that long and yet you've never went raw. Amazing.
I cannot also share non transmission stories, because I've gone all these years with it, didn't know, and not always used protection....and I don't know if I transmitted it to anyone other than my husband (and that's just s guess)
I gather that everyone's rate of transmission might be different. It would be cool if there was a way to figure out your own shedding schedule.
@MMissouri it's always been his choice to use a condom and it's just how we roll....the only time it's ever bothered me is when he bought some with spermiside on them by accident and I guess I'm alergic.....it absolutely set me on fire!!! I'm sure he'd rather go raw.....I know he would, but this way has kept him virus free so far. Having said that, we have more oral sex than intercorse as we know the transmission rate to mouth is 1%....and how many men can say they have that much oral sex that are married and it's not their "birthday blow job"?? Lol
What is transmission rate of oral from men to woman if the man is on suppressive meds. It's even lower I assume.
@Hippyherpy not sure transmission is any different male vs female as far as oral sex and hvs2 goes. It's apparently very, very low as according to what I've read, there are very, very few cases of hvs2 on mouth.......something like 1% and I've never seen it specified male/female.
@Katidid, thanks for clarifying. I guess it's like any other thing in life, you get used to it. (Diet, exercise, condoms lol)
@MMissouri yes, exactly! I've never heard the first complaint out of my husband. He's a very special man.....even through this cancer and he just had a surgery yesterday. He is one of a kind. He said (jokingly)....if it wasn't for H he prob wouldn't get nearly the oral attention lol so tit for tat!
He had cancer but he doesn't fuck you raw because you have herpes? I might have missed something, but you only live once..
He does have cancer and has been on chemo ( pill form) for three yrs. He does very well considering. However, he has a plethora of medical problems and I doubt he wants H on top of everything else. It's just a personal choice he made and he seems to be just fine with it.
I got hsv2 from a bf who knew he had it and didn't bother to tell me. Ive had it for 10 years now and never had an outbreak and Im in immunosuppressive therapy for an autoimmune illness. It boggles me how I haven't had an outbreak with my immune system being suppressed. Ive used condoms when I was single been married now for 6 years and my husband hasn't had any outbreaks but he hasn't been tested either. I don't understand how you can shed a virus that has never been to the surface of your skin.
@rocrmom94 you don't shed enough virus to have an OB but you may shed just enough virus to transmit. My giver was asymptomatic but he transmitted to me.
@WCSDancer here's a question I have pertaining Hvs2. You would think having had this over 30 yrs I'd know the answer. I understand you can shed H virus so many days out of the year without having syptoms and you obviously shed a great deal while having symptoms. I understand skin to skin (genital to genital) can aid in transmission, but is skin to skin transmission only if you are shedding or is it possible at any time your genitals touch the other persons genitals???
