I posted about a week ago about my first disclosure/rejection and not caring, etc. Well, surprisingly, the guy texted me 6 days after the disclosure saying that he wanted to give things a chance if I were still interested and that he didn't want to close any doors without giving things a chance.
I don't know how to feel about this. Of course I'm happy that he was able to see past a pesky little virus. I think I just overwhelmed him with information, but I also kind of feel like he was more into the casual sex side of things, even though he said he's "not the hit it and quit it type" and is "looking for something more serious." I mean casual sex is cool and all in the right circumstances, but I don't know this guy well enough for that. Plus, that would probably be a bad idea after just breaking up with my boyfriend and being emotionally unstable haha. In the same sense, he probably wouldn't waste his time on an H+ girl (assuming he's H-) if he were just in it for sex.
Anyway, this was just kind of an update for anyone who is interested in knowing how that all turned out, but if any of you have magical male intentions decoding powers, that would be fantastic.
Ha ha. Magical male intention deciding powers. If only such a thing existed :) It Sounds like your a little unsure. Nothing wrong with giving it sometime to see how things shake out.
Great advice from everyone.
Sometimes it just takes time for people to absorb the information. The initial word herpes freaks us all out.
I would say explore the opportunity to find out if this guy is right for you under whichever reasons you decide are good for you. You did the disclosure now take some time to get to know him. Doesn't mean you have to have sex, doesn't mean you don't.
Good luck
Bottom line: Don't settle just because he came around ...
If/when you are READY for casual sex, THEN you have casual sex ... and not one minute before.
If you want to have a serious relationship, then don't let him pressure you into sex ... and don't give it to him just to keep him around. If he's serious about you, he will go at your pace.
I would say don't rush into ANYTHING ... many men (sadly ... and other men like Steve Harvey say this themselves) will say/do ANYTHING to get "the cookie" sometimes ... they will tell you they want a serious relationship when they have no intention of creating long term goals. It's up to YOU to set the pace and if he's not serious, he won't wait around... and THAT may help you to find your answer :)
@chikitta13
@MissingMe
@whitedaisies
@WCSDancer2020
Thanks for your replies, everyone! I decided to give it a shot. We hung out last night, and I'm so happy we did. I'm usually really uncomfortable hanging out with guys one on one the first time, but I was surprisingly 100% comfortable. Usually I'm super quiet, but we didn't run out of things to talk about. We watched TV and cooked dinner together lol. He respected my boundaries. We both had a really good time.
The only thing I worry about is he actually forgot about me having H. Idk if that's good or bad lol. I didn't plan on staying as long as I did so I totally forgot to bring my birth control. He was like that's good you're on birth control blahblah. When I reminded him we still need to use condoms if it gets to that point, he said, "Oh, that's right. I actually forgot." We didn't discuss it any further, but I worry he'll drift away now. I'm pretty sure he hadn't forgotten when he texted me earlier about wanting to give things a chance, though, so idk what to think ha.
Obviously I'm not ready for anything too serious right now, but he's definitely someone I'd be interested in in the future.
Take a deep breath and enjoy the journey
My guy did the same...wanted to have sex without a condom. I am definitely not ready for that yet. Just because he forgot doesn't mean he's going to leave. Some people who get into serious relationships even with h ditch the condoms.
You are trying to anticipate a negative reaction so you don't get hurt. Don't anticipate just be in the moment. Doig things that honour you in that moment then whichever way it goes you won't have regrets.
We didn't discuss it any further, but I worry he'll drift away now. I'm pretty sure he hadn't forgotten when he texted me earlier about wanting to give things a chance, though, so idk what to think ha.
Obviously I'm not ready for anything too serious right now, but he's definitely someone I'd be interested in in the future.
Honey - you had a GREAT evening with him ... but do you notice what you did? Rather than just revel in the beauty of what you shared your brain went IMMEDIATELY to all the things that *might* happen. This is a GREAT opportunity for you to work on enjoying THE MOMENT and stop worrying about tomorrow!!!
Glad you had such a great evening with him ....
(((HUGS)))
@whitedaisies
@WCSDancer2010
You two are right. He invited me over again and I spent the night. We talked more about the possibility of sex in the future, and he's cool with it when I'm ready. I don't necessarily feel comfortable with it until I start suppressive antiviral therapy since I'm still in the first year, even though my OBs are already becoming less frequent as I learn how to better manage my stress levels (which has seriously been the best thing about having H lol). Obviously I can have no idea what the future holds for us, but at this point, I really don't care because I really enjoy how things are going right now and so far we've really liked each other's company :)
@ivoryrain I am so happy for you!!! This made my day. Thanks and enjoy!
Yessssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
