I cheated. Now what?

0:00So when you can start to practice picking apart those beliefs and making them more conscious as opposed to unconsciously just like believing all these things about yourself and you can actually start to make choices that change the neural pathways in your mind hi I'm adriel creator of the herpes opportunity which is all about positively shifting your mindset disclosing to potential partners in a way that truly connects you and ultimately finding the love that you want and deserve now you can check out the free ebook linked in the description below about having the talk and now onto the video I hope you enjoy it so I will um I will let you know something that uh might be helpful so um a few things first yeah we [ __ ] up adults you know human beings in general we are fallible we [ __ ] up um but the very close on the heels of ...

1:21... that I also want to let you know the reason why all this guilt and all of these horrible feelings are coming up is because your integrity is so strong and I know that might sound strange you know you might think well no I don't have any integrity because I cheated but sometimes what it takes is us [ __ ] up to realize oh my god I really I really do like this is important to me if there was another opportunity for that kind of a thing you wouldn't do the same thing again right that's a very powerful lesson that I mean I imagine you you wish wouldn't have you know you wouldn't have learned in that way but because we can't rewind time and redo it the best way for you to make that like make what happened an opportunity is to learn very deeply from it now from here on out notice when you are judging yourself and beating yourself up and and let that go as much as you can I know sometimes it's hard instead of that you get to replace it with here's what I'm learning I'm learning that I want ...

2:41... to be faithful what I'm learning is that this relationship is what I want if that's true right like whatever whatever is true that that you are recognizing in yourself right and it is gonna take time to rebuild trust but what's gonna what's gonna actually help that to happen over time isn't you beating yourself up over it more and more that's going to bring you further and further apart what's going to help is for you to forgive yourself and and continue loving your husband more and more and more and more as you love yourself more and more and forgive yourself more and more by you saying that this is permanent that is technically true and technically [ __ ] the technical truth of it is that herpes itself at least at this point is forever but you feeling like you feel right now isn't forever that's where you can say well if herpes is forever then I'm gonna feel like a guilty piece of [ __ ] forever that part you can you can start to to um dissociate the the meaning of herpes meaning that you don't have integrity and all of these whatever ...

4:15... whatever self judgments you have around that that herpes means all those things about you you get to actually start to uncouple those things and say yeah okay herpes it's this thing that I'm gonna have for the rest of my life but I am committed to being the kind of person that I know myself to be with integrity and a good mother and a good wife and a good human being not a lot of people in this world are aware of their thoughts and their beliefs and what's happening in their head they just call that reality it's like I'm I'm a piece of [ __ ] I did this thing I'm just that's just that's just reality right but what I hear you doing is being able to recognize these beliefs and these thoughts that come up right and they're not necessarily true unless you actually believe them so when you can start to practice picking apart those beliefs and making them more conscious as opposed to unconsciously just like believing all these things about yourself and you can actually start to make choices that change the neural pathways in your mind the the empowered isn't ...

5:37... about denying what is right the empowered is okay I'm a big girl I I'm willing to admit I [ __ ] up okay now now that I [ __ ] up am I going to become in the face of this am I going to just keep [ __ ] up more and more and I'm am I just going to keep disconnecting and that's a choice or am I going to actually step into who I know myself to be over and over again it's like that is the biggest load of [ __ ] that people believe that they stay in relationships because they feel like they're they're you know spoiled somehow and it's just not true it's not true it's not true I hope you got a lot out of that video and if you did please let me know please like comment and subscribe and keep an eye out for more videos just like this you