"Herpes is the thing that is the magnifying glass on all of the ways that you have always seen yourself in the past — herpes just exacerbates it."
If you have the herpes talk, you are probably smuggling in your own self-judgment in the process. And that could easily color the conversation — and your connection itself — in a negative way. Consider this: You probably weren't accepting yourself way before herpes came into the picture. Herpes is often the thing that is the magnifying glass on all the ways that you have always seen yourself in the past — herpes just exacerbates it. It often acts as the "proof" that you aren't enough. But what if herpes is exactly what you need to once and for all learn to prove to yourself that you've always been worthy? Herpes was that challenge in my life — it brought me right to the core of my sexual identity. That is a common experience for a lot of people with herpes. And the good news is that you can break the old belief. This can allow you to step up into being more enough than you ever were. Whatever you want to have, you can have it still. But it means only opening your body and your emotions to people that you trust. That is raising the bar, not lowering it. Anytime anyone rejects you because of herpes, take it as a filtering mechanism. Practice a new way. The beginners mind around self-development is in the learning of it. The advanced practitioner is in the practicing of it. It's harder to apply what you already know. But ultimately, practice makes better. The number one value in your life is now courage. And you can step into this new identity of yourself. Know who you are. You are someone who deserves to have whatever it is you want.