Herpes, Depression & Finding Hope

Encouragement for those recently diagnosed

A real conversation from the Herpes Opportunity community. For over 13 years, the H Opp forums were a safe space where thousands of people shared their most vulnerable moments. The forums have since sunset, but these stories live on. More in Herpes, Depression & Finding Hope

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ChanelChanelCommunity Member

Awhile ago, I found a picture online with a guy standing in the snow with his head down that read, "EVEN THOUGH IT STILL HURTS NOW, YOU WILL LOOK BACK AND REALIZE THAT IT CHANGED YOUR LIFE FOR THE BETTER".

This photo gave me inspiration, so I made it my cellphone background to remind myself that although I still struggle with regret and the emotional pain of having this condition, that for whatever reason I have it, it HAS and WILL CONTINUE to bring about changes in my life for the better. I am allowing this condition to make me a better and stronger person.

I have decided to love and treat myself better. And to those, like myself who are still getting acquainted with this condition. DON'T LET IT BREAK YOU... ALLOW IT TO MAKE YOU INTO A BETTER HUMAN BEING WITH MUCH TO GIVE TO YOURSELF AND THE WORLD.

You are learning to love yourself UNCONDITIONALLY :-)

WCSDancer2010Community Member

Amen sister.... Amen

PREACH! :)

ChanelChanelCommunity Member

hahaha. Thanks! Means a lot coming from you as well

confused1988Community Member

Hello..im brand new to this blog...just got diagnosed today....I had a swab culture test done Thursday and results today said pos for herpes.....I freaked cried for an hr.....im still in shock...I even went out and got a blood test done....even tho I heard they are not accurate...your words encouraged me. Im glad I have found this blog. Day one of acyclovir:(

WCSDancer2010Community Member

Hello Confused1988 - and Welcome

First I want you to know that you WILL be fine.... promise.

And yes - the blood test at this point (assuming you are recently exposed to the virus) may not be accurate - it takes 4-6 months to get up enough antibodies in the blood to show up in the IgG test ... the IgM (which is used for recent exposure) isn't very accurate.

Anyhow, there's a ton of info here - read all the discussions that you can, go read the Blogs, and then ask questions, rant, and contribute away :)

((HUGS)))

ChanelChanelCommunity Member

@confused1988 it's really hard news at first but just relax... wait until the blood test comes back for possible confirmation. We are here for you. You don't have to deal with this alone. Before I was diagnosed, I was really misinformed about the condition but now I realize that even though it's tough it's nowhere near as bad as I thought. You can live through this... just gather your strength. If you ever need to talk/vent feel free to inbox me. :-) You will be okay...

ChanelChanelCommunity Member

To clarify *it's tough emotionally ... other than that it's nothing you can't deal with... which I would have NEVER believe that until I was exposed to it... just have to be more careful and more attentive to your body and live as happy as you did before you knew.

confused1988Community Member

Thank you so much for your words. I really thought it was a yeast infection gone wrong. I was diagnosed with HSV 1 last year....and now this. I think the hardest part is knowing that I will have this for the rest of my life. I just got back together with an ex and I told him right away. He seemed understanding and he told me he loves me no matter what..but im not too sure he understands that I could give it to him..im scared the more he learns....he will change his mind. :( I wish I could take back time :(

ChanelChanelCommunity Member

Hmm, that's what I thought it was before I was diagnosed. Try not to focus on "living with it forever"... it only adds more to the emotional stress. (Plus, there is always hope that someone discovers the cure, or at least something that completely reduces/ends transmission!) This condition just seems dreadful because of the social stigma due to misinformation, but in reality it's only a non life threatening virus that like prefers the "moisten" parts of our body (mouth and privates). If your ex is properly educated then he'll will continue to be fine with it. Take you-alls time. Just use protection and continue to take the anti-virals to reduce the risk. Don't let your anxiety rub off on him... He loves you, let him decide the choice he wants to make :-)

ChanelChanelCommunity Member

Here is a post you can look at about the chances of transmitting the condition:

and

http://herpesopportunity.com/downloads/herpes-opportunity-disclosure-handout.pdf

confused1988Community Member

Well..like I thought.....hes been telling me hes not sure anymore and he really doesn't want to catch it. I 've been email in him a bunch of the stuff I have found and alot of the handouts here toon.but hes starting to pull away:(

WCSDancer2010Community Member

Well if you only focus on the doom and gloom aspect you WILL scare him away... yes you want to send him info but be careful that you are not making this out to be something much bigger than it is... a nuisance skin condition in a really awkward place that 1:6 people has (genitally) and that 80% don't know they have... that can be controlled with anti-virals and safe sex practices

IE: Be careful of the self fulfilling prophecy... you believe he will pull away, you will set it up so he will. ;)

ChanelChanelCommunity Member

Give it time. But love him enough to respect his choice. Some times the things we don't see as favorable are the better things for us. You want someone that will accept all aspects of you. And this is new to you as well as to him. You are probably bombarding him with information.

confused1988Community Member

Thank you for the advice guys I told him that it his decision....and I would respect him no matter what.

ChanelChanelCommunity Member

That is good. And I hope that you are taking things easier today

confused1988Community Member

I am. I disclosed to my best friend who was extremely supportive. And I really love this site...so many uplifting people!!!!

WCSDancer2010Community Member

Awesome... as Chanel said, be careful to not bombard your beau/potential beaus with info... when you disclose, give the person the basic facts and let them digest that, then answer their questions. Works a lot better that way so they can absorb it all and think things through more clearly.. :)

confused1988Community Member

I feel my initial outreak is finally healing up....it doesn't hurt near as bad and i was able to go for a run yesterday with no pain...I do have one question tho.......my outbreak looked more like cracks than blisters......and they didnt crust over and scab..they sorta just started healing and r mainly gone except for a few.......is that normal presentation of herpes? Or is the disease very individualized w each person?

WCSDancer2010Community Member

Honey - there is no real "normal" but the most typical are blisters and cracks... so yes, you are as close to "normal" as might be expected. ;)

confused1988Community Member

Oh ok..I had a moment of of "wait maybe its not herpes" lol i need to just accept it..but a girl can try hehe

ChanelChanelCommunity Member

hahaha. Yea, this condition isn't cut and dry. Everyone's experiences are different. And good to know you are adjusting! Proud of yah :-)

confused1988Community Member

Omg...I have great news guys. My boyfriend and I had the talk...and he doesn't see me any differently he read the info and told me im beautiful no matter what and that he loves me just as I am. He said hes glad he is educated on it......and im worth the risk:) hes going to get tested too:)

WCSDancer2010Community Member

AWWWWWEEESOMMMMME!!!!

So happy for you..... *squeeeee!!!*

Chalk up another one for the Successful Talks list!

(((HUGS)))

confused1988Community Member

U have no idea how helpful this forum has been..the only reason im handling my diagnosis so well is because of all the wonderful information here and all the support! I am so thankful I jumped on this the day I got my positive results!

ChanelChanelCommunity Member

Awww now that is beautiful :) Great for you two. And I am glad you came back to tell us. See NO WORRIES

confused1988Community Member

Just sharing.....ive been reading on these discussions how being diagnosed with HSV can really actually change your life for the better...I gotta say it has for me. I am eating healthier than ever and exercising more. I am also coping w stress alot better. Its crazy but in a way I gotta thank my HSV. Im also way more appreciative of my boyfriend. I am determined to take control of my body and be aware of my next OB. :)

WCSDancer2010Community Member

Yup - good life lesson - even in a "negative" situation, something positive can come from it :)

Well done!

ChanelChanelCommunity Member

@Confused1988, Glad it has for you...

It has made me really realize that not matter what happens to us in life (unless it's death), it is only meant to bring personal growth and improvement. Something so drastic in our minds, but so minor to life (non-life threatening), can bring you to a better place with yourself and with others if you allow it... It can for any and everyone.

confused1988Community Member

Hey guys.....I need some encouragement. Im pretty sure im having my next OB just a few weeks after my last one cleared..I was feeling good....but now im feeling down. I know the Frostburg can be rough....but I really felt I was doing good :( help

WCSDancer2010Community Member

@confused1988

This is totally normal... your body has to build up immunity and that may take several OB's - each one *should* be less intense than the last. If you have anti-virals, start taking them now... and do everything you did to help to knock it down last time. The sooner you attack it the faster you will get it under control. Hop into a warm bath and drop a handful or two of Epsom Salts near the area to dry it up. Reduce any stressors in your life (including foods) as much as you can.

Try to not get all freaked out about this...because stress is the #1 thing that makes H worse... you got through the last one, you'll get through this...

(((HUGS)))

confused1988Community Member

Thanks dancer.....I took ur advice....feeling so much better:)

MelanieCommunity Member

This thread has helped me out a lot

ChanelChanelCommunity Member

@melanie (:

WCSDancer2010Community Member

=D> @Melanie :)

confused1988Community Member

Ur awesome dancer...thanks for all ur support and great advice...u too chanelchanel!

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