Vulnerability as strength in herpes disclosure

0:00When you can feel that like owning your power owning your like you you love yourself and you want someone to love in that way too and all of that the disclosure conversation becomes much less about herpes and more about hey what is it like to feel vulnerable with you hi I'm adriel creator of the herpes opportunity which is all about positively shifting your mindset disclosing to potential partners in a way that truly connects you and ultimately finding the love that you want and deserve now you can check out the free ebook linked in the description below about having the talk and now onto the video I hope you enjoy it I think that's that's probably the biggest misunderstanding around doing the disclosure talk well that it uh whoops I stuttered oh that's a demerit you know it's like I don't I don't have my speech well prepared and I I I don't seem a hundred percent confident in myself and like all of these ways of like it's almost like saying I'm not wearing the mask well as opposed to hey this is me being vulnerable the distinction there is not this is me ...

1:24... being vulnerable and broken like I'm just being vulnerable that my life has sucked ever since I've gotten herpes and it's not following that storyline it's being vulnerable from a place of strength of saying yeah this hasn't been a walk in the park and I have shed tears right I'm a human being and I've also grown a lot from this right and it's like it's it's it's both of those things like like claiming the growth claiming the the optimism and the positivity without the optimism and positivity whitewashing the actual pain that you have gone through and right it's not like the rose-colored glasses and like yeah herpes is fine and if you don't think if you think it sucks then you suck and let it like it's like you're you're opening your heart but you're also not like on yourself right we are as weird as it may sound it's like we are taking leadership in this conversation because for the most part we're probably going to know more about herpes than they do unless they also have it so we're taking leadership not only in possibly educating them about this but we're also taking leadership around dispelling the stigma and it's not about just giving the facts and the storyline that would dispel the stigma it's the feeling of how we're actually presenting the content but also just like how we're showing up as a ...

2:55... person with herpes a fellow representative of the herpes population you know so so you are showing up as an embodied representative of like okayness and destigmatization and acceptance right and from that place even if the disclosure is a wow well thank you for sharing that with me but I actually would rather not take the risk but I really appreciate you telling me that right oof okay you can kind of feel the sting of that and the pain of that and you're like oh I definitely had a preference of you saying something different there ouch but I also like thank you for honoring yourself and you know your own uh boundaries right and your own risk tolerance like thank you for honoring yourself in that right that you will still walk away from that conversation not feeling rejected at the core of your being you will walk away from that conversation yes feeling feeling the sadness feeling the okay I wish I wish he would have said yes but still feeling the high of wow I just did something really really hard right like riding the high of stepping into a vulnerable scary thing and coming ...

4:30... out the other side and doing the right thing enacting your integrity your deep integrity that you have like there is a there is a certain like it sounds funny calling it a high but there is a high that comes from that there's like that all right even in the midst of the sadness there's like there's so many like layers to being a human being in so many facets that even in the midst of like uh no thank you and no no relationship moving forward there's still this like goosebumps of like wow I did the right thing I did a good thing and this is paving the way for me to find the yes so the disclosures themselves whether they end up in a yes or a no is re it's it's irrelevant as a as far as your own self-growth is concerned right the yes is icing on the cake like whoa I just did a really hard thing this was all right I feel the high from doing something vulnerable and courageous and oh wow you said yes too wow that's great right um and and it's just like the the the celebratory like ...

5:50... the celebration gets to happen on on the the heels of that um just that integrity flex you know not that you wouldn't be completely detached from wanting it to end up being a yes we're all human of course there's a reason why you're even talking to this person you want it to be a yes but that there's a little less of a grip to it needing to be a yes for you to be okay mark my words mark my words you are an electromagnet the more that you're getting this and the more you feel those goosebumps and the more you feel like I am even in the midst of the terror the terror is just because you are a sensitive human being and it's only natural for like when you consider putting yourself in a vulnerable place it's terrifying okay so honor that part of it don't ever think like I just need to get rid of this terror or this fear it's like that's totally normal the fact that there's this other part of you arising of the excitement is showing you that there's like oh this is a stand for the kind of relationship that I want to have I want to feel like this right and you become quite literally an electromagnet that then attracts that man who's also resonating with that to you it sounds woo-woo but it's kind of scientific ...

7:13... right when you can feel that like owning your power owning your like you you love yourself and you want someone to love in that way too and all of that the disclosure conversation becomes much less about herpes and more about hey what is it like to feel vulnerable with you and that and the and the right man is going to recognize that and and feel soul turn on right so you and and and the ones who aren't ready for that you might in kind of a a lower way see that as rejection but in from this higher vantage point okay get out of the way right thank you for self-selecting you know no no judgment like you're I'm sure you're a great guy for someone else but not for me great thank you for for moving out of the way next and it's a filtering mechanism for like I you know I'm not wasting my time I'm gonna I'm gonna show up vulnerable I'm gonna show up in all of these ways that my core values are wanting to show up in the world and I I and I promise myself that the right guy is gonna respect that see that and be turned on by that I hope you got a lot out of that video and if you did please let me know please like comment and subscribe and keep an eye out ...

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