When you hear a herpes joke, what do you do?

0:01When someone makes a herpes joke or whatever or makes some sort of a judgment that triggers that of that self-judgment in you can I use this this as an opportunity for me to like breathe through this and release the judgment hi I'm adriel creator of the herpes opportunity which is all about positively shifting your mindset disclosing to potential partners in a way that truly connects you and ultimately finding the love that you want and deserve and you can check out the free ebook linked in the description below about having the talk and now onto the video I hope you enjoy it you know if we're talking about this in terms of a spectrum from you know one side uh of like when you hear a herpes joke or someone that you're hanging out with you know judges those dirty people with stds or whatever on one side of the spectrum it's like you're just completely quiet about it you kind of just in internalize it um and then in the other end of the spectrum it's like you're all out you're like hey I have herpes let me educate you about this you know ...

1:21... like really all like and and they're like I said before there is no right or wrong if you are on one side of the spectrum where it is more internal then make sure that the in what is happening internally is actually a healing process as opposed to creating more anger creating more resentment creating like like just creating more pressure inside than there already was because of the inherent like shame and stigma that unfortunately does seem to come with herpes right have it be a when someone makes a herpes joke or whatever or makes some sort of a judgment that triggers that of that self-judgment in you see that as the opportunity that it is for you to recognize oh their judgment is actually pinging this in me it's waking this self-judgment up in me that is equal and opposite of the judgment that they're carrying about it can I use this this as an opportunity for me to like breathe through this and release the judgment you might not release all of it in that one go right it's a practice it's a process over time but ironically those moments where it gets triggered and ...

2:47... you hear that herpes joke and it's like oh I wish I wouldn't have heard that because this doesn't feel good is actually an opportunity to release it because it's right there in your face it's like I want to do my part to like dispel this stigma right as a fellow representative here but it feels it feels too vulnerable it feels like too much for me to have the expectation that every time I encounter someone who makes a herpes joke that I am now I now have to say something about it or I feel guilty right or or I beat myself up for not being courageous right that's that ironically will will be the antithesis of the kind of progress that you want to make whether it be your own healing or the healing of our collective you know societal judgment you know and stigma right so so treat it as this um as a worthy goal of like okay I want to I want to find the balance between um and I think that's what you were speaking to if like if if someone if someone were to say something then maybe instead of saying ...

4:02... it in the moment I can get their number or their you know send him a message on facebook or whatever um you find that balance between the amount of out you want to be about it and the amount of privacy you still want to have and that that when you honor both of those the the in and the out then that is a healthy process that you know you may become more and more out because of that or you may find that there is a balance that you like to stick in like okay I'm never gonna make an announcement at a party maybe you know but maybe I am the person who like my comfort zone is to like reach out to someone one on one after after the fact right and that and that there's nothing wrong with that that you're not giving ted talks doesn't mean you're any less than you know what I mean so so so to so regardless of how you are going to how you are going to respond first do that inner work that I mentioned a few minutes ago of of using this as an opportunity to first do your inner work before you make the comment to them whether it be live and in person right after they they say something or you wait until that evening to reach out to them that you still ...

5:29... use that time of being triggered whatever part of you gets awakened of like oh ouch ah I I'm one of those dirty people with herpes or whatever that self-judgment is in you that you use it up as an opportunity to that that that is being awakened so that you can then uh work through it and like release it more and the best way to do that is to relax into it right relax into it and notice that it is just a belief that it's not true unless you hang on to it as truth right that in in and of itself whether you say something to them or not you will be doing your own work of destigmatizing yourself which in the long run is going to destr stigmatize the world when enough of us can destigmatize ourselves then that that's the ripple effect well I hope you got a lot out of that video and if you did please let me know please like comment and subscribe and keep an eye out for more videos just like this you