Day 4:

Embracing the valleys of life

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Okay so day four um at a new spot in the river not river but stream not quite a river and um know I've been feeling uh I don't know kind of low like this uh the last three days have been like super inspiring when I've you know come down here and uh you know done my morning routine and uh this time it felt a little bit more congested if that's a that's a proper word for it and it felt kind of kind of blocked and I don't know I guess a lot a lot of stuff is just going on inside um and perfectly like perfectly I coincidentally I um heard someone describe it yesterday like the like the Peaks and valleys of life and the Peaks are great because we get to see far distances and the air is fresh and and the sun is out and then we T we tend to I might ...

... be totally getting this wrong but it's this is the gist of it is that um then in the in the valleys you notice that that's where all where everything grows and uh was perfect for me because there's this part of me that wants to rush through this um you know this bad this bad feeling um first of all just labeling it bad in general um and and I realize that there's a whole lot of of aliveness here if I don't label it as right or wrong good or bad even as I say that there's a part of me that's like oh dude stop with the positivity um but every time I look back on my life of all those times when I was in a valley um so much richness came from that so much learning and so much aliveness so much feeling it's the feeling that is sometimes hard you know to feel so ...

... much and to be impacted by life and and just allow myself to be impacted and and welcoming the impact whatever it is without making it right or wrong it just feels good to say that it's like all right these are the decisions I make on what I what I take in what I allow to take in and what I don't and regardless of what it is if I put up a barrier to it I'm putting up a barrier to my life and and I don't I don't want to do that I want to I want to feel I want to be permeable by life and if that means crying then so be it that's beautiful too and if it means laughing then great I'm good at that but the whole spectrum of feeling is what I really want to um to accept so that's it for today

The ups and downs of life are not only normal, but that *is* the stuff of life. The ebb and flow, the gains and the losses, all of it weaves together. The peaks are easy for us to be present to ... It's those damn valleys that we seem to have the most trouble with. Labelling them as bad or wrong or as fuckups just amplifies the pain, adding an unnecessary layer of suffering to the experience.

And if we can remember to breathe, be present, allow our hearts to remain open and actually allow life to impact us instead of shutting down our feelings, then we are learning to open to the gifts that come with the lows. The lows can act as a heart tenderizer to our souls, allowing us to feel more, to experience more of life in all its facets. This unconditional opening/surrender also helps us be that much more available to the peak experiences. It's been my experience that the more I can be open to the lows, the more rich my life becomes across the board. Because when I hold my arms open to all of it as magical, I remain in the flow of life's gifts.

It reminds me of a section of one of my favorite poems by Kahlil Gibran:

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?

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