Risking love

0:00You know you just said I love you like you this is the beginning of like all right take a deep breath you know this is a new a new era or it could be hi I'm adriel creator of the herpes opportunity which is all about positively shifting your mindset disclosing to potential partners in a way that truly connects you and ultimately finding the love that you want and deserve now you can check out the free ebook linked in the description below about having the talk and now on to the video I hope you enjoy it and how that like that parallels to your romantic life you know like that self-expression that is so part and parcel of being in a romantic relationship like like full self-expression with someone else that you get to self-express together fully do you feel that also in tandem in your romantic relationships as well where you feel like you can't really fully express yourself and be yourself in intimacy yeah part of the kind of the meta layer of this is just like as I'm as I'm hearing you talk about it like I feel the heaviness of it ...

1:23... you know it's like even as you say like yeah I'm in a loving relationship I I'm gonna start reading I'm I'm gonna do work though you know I'm gonna work this you know and it's it feels like this drudgery of like and I'm gonna get there but I don't know if I will you know like that kind of heaviness and I'm curious if you can access it might feel like putting the cart before the horse it might feel like cheating a little bit but I'm wondering if you could also access kind of the reverse of that of like maybe even like some excitement maybe not unbridled excitement maybe that's not accessible but like or curiosity might be the first step into that right of like oh I'm in this new relationship like this is new huh yeah I'm I'm a little afraid but I'm also like oh I'm a little jittery you know like this is a this is new like this is a new leaf that I'm turning over what's under that leaf like like can you start to feel that and and kind of like set aside the it almost feels like you're wrapping yourself up in this wet blanket you know and like I'm gonna try my hardest here right can you kind of throw that off and and start to feel the aliveness in this new relationship and in you and ...

2:49... it feels vulnerable doesn't it even the excitement even starting to touch in on the excitement feels vulnerable right because if I start to allow myself to get excited then you know whatever fill in the blank the the rug could get pulled out from under me she could reject me like whatever right so it's much more quote unquote safe to be like uh we'll see like we'll see what happens I'll try but it's probably not going to work out well so it's kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy right or it could be right it's like I'm not going to open my heart because I'm probably gonna get my heart hurt you know and it's this this like this hall of mirrors kind of thing so so what would it mean to you to like what is what does being vulnerable look like to you it sounds like you've already done it in telling this woman you love her that's the super vulnerable right but I imagine even in saying that a whole bunch of other things rush in after that I love you right like so what's that what's what's that process like for you after the I love you what what comes in so in this relationship in this new relationship there might be an opportunity to well there is an opportunity to create new neural pathways by by recognizing that your go-to is ...

4:27... to kind of protect yourself right again let me be really clear here there's no right or wrong here of like you're protecting yourself and that's wrong you know don't protect yourself you should be open in relationship right it's there's no right or wrong it's just a fork in the road that that has a bit more potential on one fork in the road to create the kinds of the kind of future you want and and one keeps you safe but more more alone and the other makes you more vulnerable and open and you could get hurt more but you could be more wide open and it is a choice it's a choice in every moment right and so what if this new relationship is like the universe being like all right here's here's a beautiful test run right of like can you maybe for the first time in your life I don't know fully open your heart to this woman and saying you know what even if my heart gets broken this is worth it right I don't need to protect myself from the potential of my heartbreak I trust that if my heart were ...

5:51... to get broken in the future I am the kind of woman the kind of human being that can handle that if and when that time comes but for now whoa we're not breaking up we're not getting our hearts broken we're opening our hearts right you you are you are sitting in this potential future that hasn't happened yet and you're closing your heart to that potential when now is the time to open your heart right it's this ironic thing of like you can only truly have your heart broken if you open your heart to begin with so ironically it's like maybe the part maybe the whole point of love is to to make yourself vulnerable to potential heartbreak around every turn I'm speaking in terms of like worst case scenario right right that if you could if you could hold that in your mind of like not that you're like okay I'm gonna get my heart broken everywhere and expect that but saying if that were to happen I can handle it that's that's your worst fear right so if that were to happen then I can handle it and then you can set it aside and just do your business around now now my practice is opening my heart with this woman that I truly trust what and and this is this is kind of another hall of mirrors moment where not that and I'll ...

7:23... preface it by saying this isn't about like selfishness of like me me me but think of it in terms of what if this were here for your own self-evolution right that everyone around you is playing this this role and you're playing a role in their life too right so it's not just about you but if you play the game like you know what like I I'm gonna I'm gonna play this game as if like I am taking the lead in in the kind of relationship that I want to have right and then you take the whole victim thing out of it of like well why isn't anyone else playing this game it's like [ __ ] it I'm playing this game right like and and and secondarily that becomes leadership but leadership is such a loaded word first it's just like this is the world I want to live in for myself and the kind of relationship that I want to have and this is the stand that I'm taking I'm not gonna I'm not gonna settle you're holding yourself back to keep other people feeling safe but you what you don't realize is ...

8:42... that the right people will resonate with that because you're like an electromagnet when you carry that kind of frequency and you're just like this is what I want yeah there are going to be some people who are repelled by that not because you're unworthy but because you're a stand for a deeper love that is kind of scary for a lot of people right and it is for you too but you recognize the the choice point in that of like yeah it might be scary but this is how I want to be alive with a capital a and this is what it takes right stepping into the unknown trusting that I'll figure it out trusting that this is what my soul really wants might not be what my ego really wants but right and this is it you're in it right now you know you just said I love you like you this is the beginning of like all right take a deep breath you know this is a new a new era or it could be I hope you got a lot out of that video and if you did please let me know please like comment and subscribe and keep an eye out for more videos just like this you