Boundaries with herpes and finding your soulmate

0:03It's like you you are learning your boundaries like that is another thing that you are learning very clearly right you had you had an assumption right that you could just sleep with with whoever and it's fine and but you're learning that that's not the case right that's a very valuable lesson just like learning about your intuition right so so knowing that and knowing that it's not worth it to sleep with someone up front that automatically trims a lot of the fat from from

0:37from your dating World okay and so here's the difference you're out there dating and you're like let's say you got 10 10 guys 10 potentials right and you still have this belief that like well I I got to sleep with them on the first date or like well then you're having like 10 disclosure conversations on the first date and maybe like seven out of 10 of those guys were the kind that just want to have a one night stand anyway and they're going to reject you and then all of a sudden you're internalizing all this

1:10rejection saying oh my God six out of 10 guys think I'm dirty and disgusting because I have herpes no that's be like if you went into that same situation and you have this this this newfound understanding of your boundaries saying I don't sleep with I don't sleep with guys in like the first month I just don't do that or whatever is true for you that becomes your boundary and then those six out of 10 guys eject after the first night of you saying that and clearly setting your boundaries there are ways that when

1:42we don't honor our own boundaries and we don't honor our own like what our needs are and and knowing ourselves truly because that's what boundaries are all about knowing ourselves and then actually enforcing that so that we take care of ourselves in the world right that's what boundaries are so if we do not honor honor our boundaries then other people will prove our own beliefs about ourselves our own self-limiting beliefs it's fascinating how that happens so now when

2:16you can Flex these boundaries you are reinforcing your own self-care and your own wanting to keep your emotional availability Serene and that that is not that's not something that you're just going to share with every dude that you're dating that's something that dude's got to earn